Somewhere I Belonged
by Originals143
Summary: She wants to be seen, but they walk past her. She wants to be listened to, but her voice goes unheard. As she pulls herself to feel the moments of the world she no longer belongs to, she departs with a deep solitude to the eternity which awaits her. My entry for MM's Salt Challenge.


**|: Somewhere I Belonged :|**

**A/N :** THIS IS STRICTLY AU (Alternate Universe), and none of this is ever, EVER possible in reality. It is completely a result of fantasy or my absolutely weird imagination – might be the reason of the countless supernatural shows, films and books which I follow.

Also, Tasha is not shown as a weak and vulnerable girl here. It's just that, when such a situation occurs, you are bound to feel helpless.

Song credits go to _'Echo'_ by _Jason Walker_ and _'Another Night Alone'_ by _Marc Broussard_. Credit for the title goes to _'Somewhere I Belong'_ by _Linkin Park_.

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It is six in the evening. Another one of the busy, mundane weekdays is coming to an end, with people starting to head towards their homes, some clearly frustrated by being stranded in the traffic. Since winter has already made its way, the days are becoming shorter as they passed, with the skies getting darker earlier than expected.

Amidst the crowd of regular urbanites rushing towards their destination, one girl stands motionless, oblivious of the environment around her. Her skin has a think chalk-white complexion, her disheveled hair flowing across her shoulders, and her eyes are big and shallow, looking lifeless with dark circles around them. She seems disinterested by the peak hours of the city and the people scrambling in various directions.

Not that it matters to her anymore. Or to the people around her.

For she is no more a part of them.

Her face shows a blank, unfathomable expression, as she stands staring at a tall glass skyscraper standing beneath the pale purple and orange coloured clouds.

'C.I.D.' – The building has the letters engraved on its toughened laminated glass in a huge, bold format, enabling passersby to read it from across the street.

For her, the abbreviated letters seem to prick her, sting her like a sharp needle. She can feel no pain and she can feel no sensation running through her. Could she feel _anything_ at all, now? No, she hadn't allowed herself to. Yet, the letters pierce right through her heart.

Or her soul, as it is the only part she can call of her own.

For the life – or the lack thereof – in her, she wants to cry. She wants to wail, but the tears refuse to budge from her insipid eyes.

She continues staring at the building, her face inscrutable. Slowly, the lights start going off, the interiors of the bureau getting pitch dark.

'_It didn't seem to be a normal day!' _She ponders to herself, as she sees all the lights being switched off gradually. It surely is abnormal, for the lights of the CID bureau getting switched off before sunset is indeed a rare sight.

Eventually, the building has turned into a dark, deserted structure, accompanied by the dark clouds which have now started turning into a darker shade of purple, just before the sun setting down.

Undeceived by the surroundings, she keeps gazing at the structure, its memories floating in front of her eyes as she scans every single corner, and stops abruptly as she sees them. Walking out of the place, chatting and laughing casually.

Reflexively, she makes a slight move in an attempt to hide in a corner where they can't see her. What was the use, she then thinks. They anyways wouldn't see her – or none of the people on the streets could.

She feels her throat give a slight chuckle, as her heart contradictorily gives a piercing pain. Should she be happy that they couldn't see her? Or should she be disheartened that they wouldn't see her?

As she sees them walking towards her, she feels herself shivering. For the first time that evening, she betrays her self-made restrictions, tossing them away with the wind and allows herself to feel.

Feel the emotions, the pain, those moments – the times which she had spent. Everything which she could feel when she had been a part of them. She feels different. She feels infinite. For she had lost touch with all these elements.

A soft cry escapes her lips as she sees Freddy walking out, with Sachin and Kajal accompanying him. Cry for seeking attention to let them know she could hear them. She could talk to them. She _wants_ them to listen to hear.

She isn't a bit surprised by the fact that Freddy is talking about his wife. Tears form in her eyes, again refusing to fall, as all the memories of her favourite senior come crashing down upon her. The hours which she and Vivek had spent listening to his endless stories about his marriage – sometimes about the amazing wife that Manisha was.

She wants to run. Run towards him only to tell him that she still listened. To every single word which the others found bugging. Listened and cherished it. More than all, she wants to run and hug him ever so tightly that a part of her would always stay with him.

All she can do is, feel his hand over her head as the last time he had kept. In the hospital, when she was dying.

All she can do is, feel his tears over her cheeks as the last time he had shed. On the hospital bed, moments before she had breathed her last.

"Freddy Sir! Freddy Sir! I'm here! Please just look at me once!" She shouts with all that she has, as he walks past her, merrily chatting with his colleagues.

_Hello, hello  
Anybody out there? Cause I don't hear a sound  
Alone, alone  
I don't really know where the world is but I miss it now  
I'm out on the edge and I'm screaming my name  
Like a fool at the top of my lungs_

_Sometimes when I close my eyes I pretend I'm alright  
But it's never enough _

Her lips quaver in agony as she stands there. Stoned and pained.

She would have been sick with fear if ACP Pradyuman would have found her wandering aimlessly in the premises of the building. He had been furious when he had once seen her with Vivek and Tarika laughing over a joke.

Now, as he strides out of the bureau, with Dr. Salunkhe alongside, she purposely stands in the way, waiting for him to see her. So that he could yell on her for loitering in the premises. As he approaches closer, debating with his best friend about how the youth was getting spoiled, she recollects the moments when he had placed a tender hand on her head, each time she missed her father.

The hand seems to send much-needed warmth through her lifeless soul, as she feels it again over her head the last time it had, when he had assured her that she will always be a part of their hearts.

She again shouts at the top of her voice, but she can barely hear a whisper. "Sir, I want to be a part of your life again! To listen and endure all your scoldings and bear all your anger happily. Please, let me, sir!" Her voice serves as a harsh reminder telling her that her pleas would go unheard. It was no use.

Her hands invariably reach up to her icy-cold cheeks, where he had patted whenever he sensed her longing for an elderly figure - a side of him which he rarely showed.

The rhythm returns to her lips unknowingly emerging from her heart, as he walks away.

_My echo, echo  
Is the only voice coming back_

_Shadow, shadow  
Is the only friend that I have _

She wants to break down. Lose herself on her knees. But, her legs refuse to bend even by an inch.

The weather has started turning colder, the stars shining among the dark gray clouds, calling her back to where she now belonged. Silently, she pleads them to let her stay longer. They understand, for the stars are the only source she could talk to.

Yet, she senses a part of her being left behind in the world she no longer belonged to. She stands stiff, her cold feet rubbing against the hard surface of the roads.

If she could, she would have told him that he was not bad at heart. He just needed to watch his ways when it came to treating his colleagues. Sometimes, she hated him for the way he had been rude and disrespectful to Freddy and Tarika.

_'Sr. Insp. Abhijeet' –_ The label seems to have stuck permanently in his head, and he seems to have taken it too seriously, for the change and the authoritativeness in his behaviour had become too evident.

She sees traces of guilt in his eyes, – the same guilt she had last seen – as he walks out in his typical majestic gait with his best friend, discussing about some kidnapping case.

She remembers his trembling voice when he had escorted her to the hospital. From under the oxygen mask, she had heard faint pleas of guilt saying _'I'm sorry! I'm sorry, it's all my fault!' _His voice had quivered as he held her hand in the hospital.

Though she had then assured him it wasn't his fault that she was dying, and though she would now say the same, somewhere she hopes that he would have saved her.

Her heart hums the familiar tunes of pain for the third time that evening.

_Listen, listen_  
_I would take a whisper if that's all you had to give  
But it isn't, is it?  
You could come and save me and try to chase the crazy right out of my head_

_'You will be my dear kiddo sister. Always! Thanks for everything.' _He had said to her once, when she had confronted him for insulting Freddy. After lecturing him for nearly an hour, he had finally admitted to have gone wrong, and had pulled her cheeks much to her irritation.

The words echo in her mind, as he got into Daya's car. She keeps staring at the white Qualis till it vanishes out of sight. "I _am_ your favorite sister, Abhijeet Sir!" She manages to whisper, for she knows her voice won't reach him.

Her eyes have now starting hurting – a feeling she had sensed after ages. For the first time since she had become familiar to it, she loves it, for some reason inexplicable to her.

She has been almost feeling her heart being wrenched, after her voice has gone unheard. It, however, is axed into a million tiny pieces, with each piece burning inside her, as she finally sees _them_. There is no change in their appearance, except for the most important part. The shine in their eyes. It is missing, gone away never to return again.

She hadn't been able to come to terms with the void in Vivek's eyes the last time she looked into them before she parted from him. And she can't come to terms with his eyes now. As for Tarika, she knew she would completely break from within. She never dared to think about how her colleagues must have comforted her. Or were they ever successful? Now, as she looks at them, she tries to stop the piercing feeling which is stabbing every broken piece of her heart.

Till now, her legs had turned down the urge to budge from their place. But, this time, she feels her soul being lifted up and floated towards them, wanting to be a part of them. Longing to embrace them, to enjoy all those moments of craziness with them, to laugh and tease mercilessly and to cry for no reason.

The words again make their way from her heart through her lips.

_I don't wanna be an island  
I just wanna feel alive and  
Get to see your face again_

_Cause my echo, echo  
Is the only voice coming back  
Shadow, shadow  
Is the only friend that I have _

Tarika is dragging her feet, her face devoid of any unfathomable expression. She looks tired. And Vivek knows it isn't because of work. Her face has lost its smile, her eyes going blank with an infinite emptiness. Vivek doesn't usually console her, for he knows he has nothing left to console.

Looking sideways at her, he smiles ruefully, and pats her head. "Come, I'll treat you to ice-cream today." He says softly, and Tarika manages to return a faint smile. In an attempt to make her feel better with all that he has, he puts an arm over her shoulder, and playfully pulls her towards her car.

As she watches them drive off, she feels the surge to stop them, to accompany them as they always used to do. She wants to belong to them again.

All she can do is, mumble to herself, with a futile hope that they would reach them. _'I Love You!' _Her voice comes more hoarse than expected. For the first time, she feels her tears gave way, thick and fast through her cheeks and settle down on her lips. They feel sweet. They feel salty. With all those memories they have accumulated in them. To be with her. For eternity.

As she readies herself to sail off to her world, gathering the cracked pieces of her heart, she wishes she was still belonging here. Slowly, her soul lifts off the ground, and she drifts above to the clouds as they spread their arms wide to engulf her in.

_Trying in my life, trying to survive_

_A world away from home_

_Doesn't feel like I belong_

_Just another night alone_

The axed pieces of her heart sing in an insatiable yet soothing tune, as she embraces the skies, the stars, the world where she now belongs.

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**~~ The End ~~**

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**A/N :** Honestly, I have no idea what made me write this, or to what percentage does it make sense. It might be confusing at many instances. However, if you read very carefully, you can figure it out. Again, this kind of stuff cannot, I repeat, CANNOT occur in real life, unless anyone believes in such superstitions.

Let me get some facts clear before alarm bells start ringing in your heads. Tarika and Vivek's relationship is restricted only to pure platonic friendship, and they are helping each other deal with Tasha's death. And before you literally eat off my head here, just because Tarika is dating Abhijeet, doesn't mean she HAS to hang out only with him. Of the few friends she has, she considers Tasha and Vivek the closest, apart from her amazing father Dr. Salunkhe, of course. So, please don't give me a hard time about it.

Don't review if you don't like. :)


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